A Meal With Mohan

By Godfrey Pereira

President Barack Obama recently stated, given a chance he would like to travel back in time and have dinner with Mahatma Gandhi, whom he considered a real hero.
Obama expressed his desire in response to a question from a student Lilly during his discussion with 9th graders at Wakefield High School in Arlington Virginia.
When the C.I.A. heard this, they contacted the I.S.I. who contacted R.A.W. who contacted MOSSAD, who contacted… you get the picture.
And so, it came to pass, the twain met.
Obama brought his donkey Blue Dog, for food care advice; Mohan brought his goat, Third Class, for fresh milk.
A neutral country was thought to be the best location.
Mohan and Barack picked a Vegetarian restaurant in Singh Dale, Brampton, Canada.
Mohan said, “Looks like home, smells like home, could be home, eh! eh!! I think we can make this home, eh!”
Barack said “No, we can’t.”
Outside the restaurant, a row of red elephants, with listening devices attached to their trunks, stood disguised as Bhangra dancers.
Mohan said, “I always travel Third Class, good for the image, you know.” The Valet parked Blue Dog and Third Class in the Untouchable Free zone and deposited Mohan’s walking sticks Manu and Abha in the “Ladies Only” closet.
The two sat down to eat without further fanfare.
Mohan ordered half an almond, a fresh grape, half a glass of lemon juice and an enema. Barack said he’d stick to water and the smell of turban in the air.
“So Mohan,” Barack said smiling, “I do admire your non violent philosophy.”
“Yes, yes,” said Mohan, “Enemas once a day, preferably at night. Also massages with pure coconut oil.”
“And what do you think about all this outsourcing, you know, American jobs going to India and all that.”
“Yes, yes,” said Mohan, “Mud Packs are the best solution. They are an ancient remedy for almost anything, including outsourcing.”
“You answer is there somewhere in your words but I cannot figure it out,” said Barack.
“I am an attorney disguised as a half naked fakir, disguised as a politician,” said Mohan smiling. “Experiment with the truth. Give up sex. Practice controlled starvation.”
The meal was over.
Barack turned to Mohan and pitched the question he had been waiting to ask.
“Mohan, what do you think about Universal Health Care in America.” Mohan’s eyes twinkled. He stood up, adjusted his dhoti and said, “Brother Barack, I think it’s a very good idea. Take some Western Civilization, always with a dash of salt, for taste. Mix and serve to the people. Remember, disguise the taste. I think it’s a very good idea.”
Mohan then called for Third Class and his walking sticks, and rode out with a million dollar Pakistani secret service detail discretely shadowing him.
That night in the White House, Barack told his wife Michelle he did not really understand Mahatma Gandhi.
His wife said, “I think it’s a very good idea.”